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| No matter what anyone says, we all have expectations. Just like how people always say "I'm not judgmental" but we all are. Without judgment or expectation, we can't grow. It's just the way we're built, if we meet certain expectations, there's the standard of approval. We set our sights higher cause we know we can do it. We judge because how else can you evaluate yourself without comparison?
But there's also the downside to expectations and judgment, disappointment and being judged. We have expectations of ourselves and of others. When they are not met, we're dealt disappointment and failure. If we judge, we can only expect others to judge us as well. What happens when we're not up to standards? We rationalize by saying "we do the best we can". Is it true though? Are we doing the best we can?
What happens when you're tired of disappointment? Over and over again people fail to meet your expectations? I personally end up doing a self-evaluation. Am I setting my expectations too high? Am I asking too much? What could I have done differently? It's easier to find an explanation within yourself than to try and figure out the flaw in the people disappointing you. You set your expectations lower, you ask less, you do more to compensate for their lack of achievement. But eventually you get tired of making excuses. There is only so much you can do, to the point where there's nothing left for you to do but face the disappointment that you can not fix.
Your expectations can not be set any lower, your patience can't be tried any longer, then what?
I guess that's the million dollar question... then what?
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| killed the cat. Dead. Gone. That'll teach you to be so damn nosy.
I used to always try and understand why people are so different. Why some friendships/relationships work, and other ones do not. Do opposites really attract? Do similar personalities always win? Why are some people just really jacked up but don't see it? And then I gave up. I realized that the more you want to try and understand, to talk it through, or shed some sort of light on any gray area, it only backfires on you. You see the bad and the evil in people and it affects the way you view others and yourself.
Some things in life are not meant to be understood, that's what makes them so great. Who knows why chemistry between one person is instantaneous and uncontrollable while with another it barely registers as simmering. But I think that's the reason why it's so magical. (wow, did I really just use that word?) I think the best rule of thumb is, if you're not feeling it, there's a reason why. Walk away early before it ends up eating you alive and you're left with a void that makes feel dead.
Lesson of the day? Curiosity killed the cat... and it could kill you too!
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| My friend asked this question: "If you were destined to have your heart demolished an unknown number of times before you found true love, would you have the courage to go through the pain?" I think most of us wants to believe that they would do anything for true love- walk over a bed of lit coal, sleep on a bed of glass, defy gravity and leap off buildings; but the truth is would we? So many people sit around and complain that they are so unlucky when it comes to love, that they only meet the wrong people, that they aren't destined for it. But what if you were? What if you will or have already met your true love but managed to mess it all up over something as trivial as the remote? (Ok, maybe the remote isn't very trivial- do NOT turn off my food network :P) Truthfully, I don't think its courageous to go through heartache if you knew you were destined to meet your true love after all the dust from your shattered heart has settled. That's not being brave or admirable, that's called stamina. You're willing to withstand the hardships and the test of time because you know there is a great reward at the end, the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. That's perseverence. That's just waiting it out. You know that if you endure long enough, you will be given something you find very deserving. What is courage then? Courage is getting your heart broken over and over again, only to stand back up and look for your true love. It's the not knowing you will be rewarded at the end of this long road. It's the fact that after all the pitfalls, the tears, and the pain- that you still believe in love. The kind that makes you go weak at the knees, smile for no reason, and laugh at the oddest time with the recollection of a memory of you two. It's courageous because even when faced with an uncertain outcome, you are still willing to go through all the trials and tribulations of trying to find the one thing you believe most in. So maybe this New Year's resolution shouldn't be to lose weight, but to be more brave. To find the courage to believe and have faith. | | |
| I stole this quote off my friend's site: "They are intimidated, don't think they're good enough. In fact, they're NOT good enough. So they don't try, don't want to be rejected or hurt because someone "better" (hotter, funnier, smarter, manlier, more athletic,etc...) is bound to take you away from them. Because (they think) that is what you deserve." Hmm... this always makes me wonder about why people even bother. What's the point of being in a relationship if you're constantly scared of losing this person to someone else? So instead of cherishing the person you're with for who they are, you choose instead to give up and wait it out. Wait for the inevitable of them leaving you for something better. Does it ever cross your mind that if and when that person chooses to leave, it's because you drove them there with your nonchalant attitude and unwillingness to fight for the person you are with. I've seen this happen to many different people, myself included, where the relationship goes stagnant not because those involved grew apart, but because they lost the passion to fight for the person they love. Instead they sit back and accept that it will inevitably end. Why do people think that way? Don't get me wrong, I'm sure many people are flattered when they meet someone who thinks so highly of them that they feel undeserving. I mean really, who doesn't want to be worshipped? But when that person chooses to be with you, it's because they made the conscious decision that you ARE good enough for them. That there is something about you that they are willing to try and work for. Don't brush aside that person's feelings because when it's gone, there is no amount of wishing to bring it back. Don't take it for granted or second guess someone else's emotions, if they are real to that person, then that's all that matters. Fight for what is yours because when its lost, only regret will settle in. My advice for the new year? Fight! Fight to the death! (movie quote, guess! lol) | | |
| I was talking to my friend yesterday... and she said something that I thought was very interesting.. we were discussing relationships & etc... you know, all that feel-good holiday stuff, lol. her: "when you love someone, you have to change for them"
me: "wtf? that makes no sense. if they love you, shouldn't they love you for you?"
her: "yeah, but if YOU love that person, you would change for him/her"
me: "but doesn't love mean that you DON'T have to change? isn't that why they love you in the first place?"
her: "but we're talking about when you love a person, you should change to make them happy" I think I was more confused than ever after that conversation, lol. Don't get me wrong, I am by far no way a love/relationship expert.. heck I can't even remember the last time I was in one. But maybe I'm the idealistic one because I always thought that when you love a person, they take the good with the bad. Isn't the point to be perfect WITH someone, not BE perfect? If you're going to change, shouldn't you change to better yourself? And in turn, you being a better self would make you a better complement to the relationship. But if your other half is asking you to change to make them happier, is it the same if you are less happy from the change? I think I get what my friend is saying, but to me I still don't grasp the concept. I highly doubt I'd practice it either, lol. Lesson learned: don't drink & drive! (yeah that was completely left field... haha) | | |
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